Tabletop Champions Podcast Wikia
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Overview[]

This page collects the opening quote, i.e. catch phrase, from every episode intro.

Season 1[]

  • 000:
    "It was literally bags of poop thrown around."Sean
    "Multiple times!"Wade
    "Oh God. I forgot about the bag of shit, Jesus."Kyle
  • 001:
    "I can spend all day trying to catch a rat, or I can just go pick up someone's chicken and throw it off, and that's what I do."Kyle
  • 002:
    "I grab her hand and put it in mine, like I'm holding her hands like in a very loving way, before fucking Devin can touch my sister."Scott
  • 003:
    "Look, is this just shit on the DM night, or what? I'm trying to do my best to give you guys a god-damn adventure!"Sean
    "A-And, hold on!"Kyle
    "Suspend disbelief, enjoy yourself goddammit!"Sean
  • 004:
    "You go to a brothel and just sleep alone and read a book?! Dafuck?!"Kyle
  • 005:
    "Wikipedia, don't do me like this!"Kyle
  • 006:
    "Hey, uh–I've never been good at subtlety. So, if you just say my name again, I'll kill you."Torrin
    "T- T-Drag? Just uh-"Travers
    "I- I-Listen. I-"Torrin
  • 007:
    "I thought- I thought it was just Baron."Devin
    "Yeah, fuck you! Fuck you so hard right now, Devin."Paeris
  • 008:
    "I have to do three to water, it doesn't work!"Sean
  • 009:
    "None of this shit was s'posed to happen!"Sean
  • 010:
    "And-uh, you know, the only thing, thankfully, is Paeris' sister remains unmolested."Kyle
  • 011:
    "Did a frog djinni just come on me?"Kyle
  • 012:
    "Yeah remember, you still haven't had sex with my sister yet, so you gonna wanna keep her alive."Scott
  • 014:
    "We're gonna go punch a fish in the throat and try to get vomited into the ocean. Does that sound like a lot of fun to you?"Torrin
  • 016:
    "Devin is definitely flaming, but not in that sort of way."Wade
  • 017:
    "Devin, why are you so obsessed with sticking shafts into people?"Nedylene
  • 018:
    "Eh, there's a 22. That should scare an old lady."Kyle
  • 019:
    "Do I have to wear this thing forever?""
    "Uhm, you don't, you will bite your own tongue off."Torrin
  • 020:
    "Why, Torrin? Why would you let this happen to me?"Sparkles
  • 022:
    "Shit, sorry! The thing- fuckin' spider just descended in front of my computer!"Sean
  • 023:
    "Yes! I do not appreciate that! I have a doctor in my field! My name is professor Markus!"Markus
    "Why do you keep a doctor in your field?"Torrin
  • 024:
    "So..?"Sean
    "That's a good time for a one!"Kyle
  • 025:
    "What do you mean, you people?"Wade
  • 026:
    "Dammit, Sean!"—Unknown
    "Dammit Scott!"Sean
  • 027:
    "The enemy of my enemy is my friend. And I slip into a little Spanish from time to time."Albor/Alvis
  • 028:
    "So is Devin finally wearing a shirt?"
  • 030:
    "Why is there so much talk about bags of shit in this campaign?"Sean
  • 031:
    "Why don't you guys have piss buckets? Jesus. Be a professional."Kyle
  • 032:
    "So, hepatitis here I come."Sean
  • 034:
    "For once I agree with a goblin!"Torrin
  • 035:
    "Why do you gotta be such an asshole?"Sean
  • 036:
    "But you would have to find some sort of way to disguise-"Sean
    "Cut her face off."Kyle
    "Ooh yeah!"Scott
  • 037:
    "So Tor-reen ... we find ourselves alone, again."Nedylene
  • 038:
    (Bullywug croaking)
  • 039:
    "I'm not hitting any bongs, Scott!"Sean
  • 040:
    "Let's fuck some shit up!"Kyle
  • 041:
    "We leave as soon as we're done fucking things up!"Kyle
  • 042:
    (sound of the void)
  • 043:
    "Is my baby a nuke? Like, what's the deal on that?"Kyle

Season 2[]

  • 050:
    "Uhh sausage is awesome!"Matt
  • 051:
    "(gulping noises) That better make the sound bite!"Sean
  • 052:
    "Here at the Burger King!"Kyle
  • 053:
    (raspberries blown)
  • 054:
    "That's fine, note to Kyle: No matter how goddamn funny that quote is, don't do it."Kyle
  • 055:
    "The whole reason we are in this mess: because all of us forgot everything!"Stephanie
  • 057:
    "Maybe I just want him to die, who knows?"Ben
  • 058:
    "So could I grab his hand, and we start skipping together, to the library?"Stephanie
  • 059:
    "I mean, if you want, you know, we could take turns pulling the donkey."Skrag
  • 060:
    "Yeah, I was gonna say I wanna investigate that pumpkin."Scott
  • 061:
    "So, are we ever gonna accomplish anything?"Stephanie
  • 063:
    "That's all I could get out before I ran inside, jumped over my dog, and passed my wife, screaming: emergency poop!"Sean
    "He pees and poops, he's ready."Matt
  • 064:
    "No more holes!"Eutax
  • 065:
    "I got spurs that dingle, dangle, dingle!"Sean
  • 066:
    "Oh sure, hold on, let me use my magic puppet powers!"Margane
  • 067:
    "Come on, please tea-bag my tongue!"Margane
  • 068:
    "Bye, say goodbye to the things we said, they are all gone!"Kyle
  • 069:
    "He asked what it was, I don't- you don't pour something in someone if they're curious what it is still."Kyle
  • 070:
    "It's not really a thing—that's always fun?"Kyle
  • 072:
    "'Kay. I won't forget that you ran away."Sean
  • 073:
    "Alright, anyway. Let's get back to playing Dungeons and Dragons, and not this goofy bullshit."Sean
  • 074:
    "And that's Dungeons and Dragons everybody! Pack it in, let's go home!"Sean
  • 075:
    "Like—I don't like literally everything."Eutax
  • 076:
    "Alright, bye pukie buckets!"Margane
  • 077:
    "There are no holes, please stop."Kyle
  • 078:
    "Hello?"Sean
    "You didn't miss much, don't worry!"Kyle
    "Okay."Sean
    "Nothing happened."Kyle
    "I thought it was appropriate!"Matt
    "It was honey, it was."Stephanie
    "Suuure."Kyle
  • 079:
    "Then he's like "blarrgg" and then he falls."Stephanie
  • 080:
    "We need to get rid of these corpses!"-D'Nias
  • 082:
    "Great, sure! What are you gonna fucking cast?"Sean
  • 083:
    "Nobody bamboozles me!"Skrag
  • 084:
    "It's on like Donkey Kong!"Matt
  • 085:
    "Do you just get off on this?"Eutax
  • 086:
    "Oh, hold on my Eutax is ringing!"—Margane
  • 087:
    "All I heard was classic pizza goof."Sean
  • 088:
    "The food is really good!"Mut
  • 090:
    "I'm inside him!"Matt
  • 091:
    "I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't jacking-"Stephanie
  • 092:
    "I like grabbin' stuff."Matt
  • 093:
    "I'm a gross person. I pooped myself."Sean
  • 094:
    "Let's finish this off with mostly fart jokes."Kyle
  • 095:
    "Argon Smagswag"Kyle
    "A character in conflict with himself. This is great! Edit mark! Edit mark! Edit mark! Edit mark!"Sean
    "So, make sure you cut all this out, Kyle."Stephanie
    "No, I'mma leave this in. I'mma highlight it, this is aaall the opening quote."Kyle
  • 097: "Yeah it, it was good. And I love roleplay, you guys know me, so-"Sean

Season 3[]

  • 098:
    "They weren’t even supposed to be here today."Sean
  • 099:
    "Mister 'Oh, season three is gonna be soo light hearted! Meh meh meh!"Stephanie
  • 100:
    "I am sorry about whatever happens."Kyle
  • 101:
    "'Eww this is gross!'—and they like, poke it with their finger."Sean
  • 102:
    "I picture the horse riding Minos."Sean
  • 103:
    "This is just why you don't help people."Alenia
  • 106:
    "Do we have to go see mister Goodboy?"Kyle
  • 109:
    "Gurgle-gurgle, gurgle-gurgle!"Colin
  • 110:
    "This is just the night of computer fuckery!"Sean
  • 112:
    "God, It's full of stars" - Sean
  • 113:
    "I don't pee in your hot tub" - Sean
  • 114:
    "There's something funky going on in the forest" - Lauren (Ren)
  • 115:
    "Have some butter with that and it sounds like a good time" - Matt (Minos)
  • 116:
    "It seemed like the thing to do?" - Lauren (Ren)
  • 117:
    "Like puppets?" - Stephanie
  • 118:
    "You don't know my kraken" - Kyle
  • 119:
    "wah wah waaahh" - Kyle
  • 120:
    "Urrgghhh" - Lauren
  • 121:
    "Thank you very much" - Stephanie (Lux)
  • 122:
    "Ugh fuck" - Lauren
  • 123:
    "Stop encouraging bad behavior, dammit!"Ren

Season 4[]

  • 146:
    " 'If I could staay aawake, just to hear you breaaathing!' "Sean
  • 147:
    "Yeah, that's like the biggest thing I cut from you, Sean. Aye, maybe a couple uhms here and there, but it's mostly snot'n'vape."Kyle
  • 148:
    "Break a leg, have a good show and, uh, obviously one of these days I may be listening to one."—Unknown

Season 5[]

  • 185:
    "I'm a strong, independent DM, I don't need no Ben."Lauren
  • 186:
    "What kinda look are you givin' me?"Kyle
    "What kind do you want?"Stephanie
  • 187:
    "Season five: the revenge of Bawk Bawk."Sean
  • 188:
    "You piece of shit! I trusted you!"Clover
  • 193:
    "Come on down to party town!"Kyle
    "Oh. I'm comin."Sean
  • 194:
    "Take the pain away from one place and put it in another!"Lauren
  • 195:
    "Like Puss in Boots from Shrek!"Sean
  • 198:
    "Sorry, honestly, I did not expect this to go this way tonight, so, uh, I'm making this up as we go."Lauren
  • 201:
    "Make the magic happen, Kyle."Matt
  • 204:
    "Naw fam, you grew up in a tree."Lauren
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