Sean: “Pretty casual talking for a naval battle right now!”
Sean: “Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions Podcast. I’m Sean your Dungeon Master and with me tonight—I don’t have Roll 20 pulled up. For whatever reason, I’m forgetting you guys’ names—Matt, who plays Cyrus.”
Matt: “Look into my eye.”
Sean: “Ben, who plays Kallas.”
Sean: “Lauren, who plays Dagna.”
Lauren: “I’ll tell you what I know about dwarves: very little.
Sean: “Kyle, who plays Cam.”
Sean: “And Steph, who plays—ugh, why am I blanking on your character name?”
Sean: “Boone! You’re also not in Roll 20.”
Stephanie: “Yes I am!”
Sean: “No you’re not.”
Kyle: “I’m not!”
Sean: “I see Matt, Kallas—”
Stephanie: “Oh shit! I’m Raquel right now. Hold on! Dumpster fire.”
Lauren: “When we’ve ever started an episode with all of us on?”
- The episode opens with our heroes being confronted by Captain Nathayel in her cabin on the Plane of Mischief. She tells the group that it has been two months of insane naval battles that are with 60-80 storey tall Grifto, six galleys, and giant rubber duck “playing” with them as if they were toy-sized. The Windbreaker crew calls these battles Bath Time, and each instance they have narrowly escaped by fleeing the area. At the end of Bath Time, a whirlpool emerges from the ocean and the galleys (and duck) disappear until the next encounter. The crew’s plan is to follow the water down the drain as a last-ditch effort to escape. Cam has taken on the performance of trying to woo the Captain throughout their conversation.
- A naval battle ensues. The galleys are filled with straw dummies and armed with harpoons and water cannons. One of the galleys harpoons the Windbreaker and Kallas severs it with his dagger. The rope is animated and attempts to noose Kallas, pulling him over the deck, but he ducks out of the way in time. Boone, using the boat steery thing, rotates the boat toward the duck. The Captain orders the big windy boy to be raised and the Windbreaker sails onward.
- Dagna pillages the Captain’s footlocker and picks up a hat with a golden feather dangling from it. She then proceeds to give bardic inspiration to Cyrus. Cam goes to the boat tip spot and shoots a jet of fire at the galley. The boat bursts into flames as it is revealed that the entire enemy ship is made of straw and immediately sinks in the inferno. Cyrus tries to Eldritch Blast the surrounding galleys but finds them buffed against magical energy. The Windbreaker is harpooned again, this time in three directions and endures shots by the water cannons.
- Kallas unrolls the magic carpet, holding one of the ship’s harpoons, and prepares to fly with Dagna up to the duck in order to remove it’s drain stopper. Boone runs to one of the implanted enemy harpoons and cuts the Windbreaker free that line. The rope unfurls, making a rude gesture as it fails to grab onto Boone. The Windbreaker crew manages free itself from one more harpoon. While another crew member makes a critical success of threading the harpoon through the loop on the duck’s stopper and hooking it tight.
- Seeing that the Windbreaker crew managed to secure the duck, Dagna yells out to cancel the carpet plan. She instead casts Arcane Hand: Forceful Hand to help pull the stopper. Lauren cashes in her inspiration and the stopper pops off the duck. This creates a whirlpool and the boat begins to drift. A bright blue sky can be seen through the eye of the whirlpool.
- Grifto slaps his hand against the ocean causing a tidal wave. Dagna is knocked prone and goes sliding toward the boat tip spot. She manages to grab onto the side railing and is dangling off the edge. Some of the Windbreaker crew goes overboard as the wave crashes and breaks the mainmast. Cam, to solidify his performance of wooing the Captain, attempts to save her. He fails as the boat is nearly vertical at this point. The Captain slides past Dagna, who manages to grab her in time. The boat starts sliding back and the Captain takes damage from the mast as it collides with her.
- As the boat crashes through, the crew and our heroes find themselves off the coast the island near Jildos. Cam, in his charade, rushes to the Captain to cast Lay on Hands. Although successful in his healing, she pushes Cam out of the way to get to Dagna. Who she plants a kiss on.
- Hunk shows up with his boat to tow the Windbreaker into the shores of Jildos. During the tow the Dagna persuades the Captain to borrow her Boat Swain Whistle. In exchange, Dagna must see the Captain again in a romantic engagement at the Yellow Caravel. Upon inspection, the whistle has a gash across it.
- The crew later reveals that they endured Drow attacks along with Bath Time while in the Plane of Mischief. During the attack, two boats with Drow attacked the crew and the Captain was slashed across the chest. The crew was able to fight them off. Dagna believes that Cadran was involved in the attack and could possibly seek revenge.
- Hunk tells our heroes that he successfully circumnavigated the continent and fought a Kraken. He also says that he is a Pirate King and Captain. He shares his liquor that has the seals of Cin Amon. Cam and Cyrus would like to give up on the mission and just sail the oceans with Hunk.
- Dagna plays with the Boat Swain Whistle to assess the damage. When she plays it, her breath seems to blow through the scarred hole jarringly. The loud reverberations of the tone causes Hunk’s ship to crack, twirl and twist.
- With a small popping noise, the group finds themselves in a small windowless room that is candlelit and has a single door. The door appears to be a secret one, as if it is behind a bookshelf. There are frescos on the walls of Asmodeus that have been changed, scratched out. The images have been replaced with images of Kri’zakth.
- Cadran’s voice permeates Dagna’s mind welcoming her back. His voice seems to be off/different. Boone opens the door with the plan to kill whatever is on the other side. The party finds themselves in a large, well-decorated dining hall where a figure in fine black robes is playing the piano. Boone attempts to cast hold person, but the spell fails (presumably because the figure is undead). The figure turns and reveals himself to be Cadran, but he is now gaunt, with gems for eyes. The episode ends as Dagna recognizes the room; it is Cadran’s grand dining hall. He ominously welcomes the group to his mansion.
- Stephanie: “Then how do I move the boat?”
Sean: “Umm, let me see. I don’t know what check it would be…”
Ben: “Is it a boat check?”
Sean: “Yeah, it’s a boat check.”
- Stephanie: “Hey guys, there’s this weird thing on the duck’s head. And then, umm, I don’t got this! Someone needs to do this other than me.”
- Sean: “The boat is only—it’s like, right off the bow. That’s what it’s called! That’s what the tip spot is! It’s the bow!”
Lauren: [clapping] “I’m proud of you.”
Ben: “It’s the boat tip spot! What are you talking about?”
Kyle: “All right, yes. So, I run up to the boat tip spot. Where it is, of course, canonically called. I don’t even know what you just said. I blacked out while you were talking.”
- Ben: “Kallas still has the carpet, right?"
Sean: “Yes, Kallas does have the carpet. Nope! Sorry, Lisan has it. I’m the DM now!”
- Many of the official TTC canon correct boat terms are used in this episode (see image for reference).
- Matt points out that Ben rolled a Natural 1 on his perception and it was still a 13. Which is just impressive.
- Kyle jokes that the national drink of Cin Amon is "Fireball". (It isn't. The drink the Circle City is known for is "Byford's Curse".)
- Dagna loots a hat with a golden feather attached to it from the Captain's footlocker.
- Lauren has cashed in her inspiration during this episode.