Episode description:
Ok, so this new start is a little bumpy...

Opening Quote:
"Fuck, I'm a clam!" -Sean

Player introduction:
Lauren, "Hello and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions. I'm Lauren your dungeon master and with me tonight we have Ben, who plays Throden."

Ben, "Ah—hello."

Lauren, "Matt, who plays Fanel."

Matt, "Hello!"

Lauren, "Stephanie, who plays Raquel."

Stephanie, "You know what you two need? It's a little comic strip called "Love is...". It's about two naked eight-year olds that are married."

Matt, "Uugh."

Lauren, "Sean, who plays Clover?"

Sean, "Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, go play."

Lauren, "And Kyle, who plays Irpaks."

Kyle, "You two look good. Open-casket good!"

Episode SummaryEdit

The party has just left Haven and have started their three day journey to Trenton. Raquel checks the money pouch she has received from Silo196, and finds gold and platinum pieces. She shares the money equally among the group.

A shady side-convoEdit

Irpaks and Raquel sit together at the back of the cart for a private conversation. The bard wants to learn more about Raquel's plans in Trenton. She explains that she has a target, a man named Sir Maxwell Wellington, who is a known capacity in the smuggeling and trade of rare antiquities, which is also Raquel's line of work. Wellington owns a rare dagger which Raquel has set her mind on aquiring one way or another. Irpaks changes her mind about making Wellington a buy offer, as it would implicate them once they try stealing it, which is the plan he favors, and Raquel agrees with in the end.

She promises to share part of the profits, and inquires about Irpaks' own motives. The bard states that his business is information, and Wellington seems like the kind of man who knows many valuable secrets. He also claims to have other personal business in the city. The two seal the deal with an impromptu secret handshake.

Clover asks the tough questionsEdit

The traveling day ends uneventful, and the group make camp for the night. Clover makes sure to get first watch with Raquel, and they share some wine from her special bottle. The Mousefolk wants to learn more about her relationship to Aramel Kinlee, inferring that they might be lovers. But Raquel corrects him, stating that all kinds of relationships are usually more complicated than the boy thinks. She reports that she has known Aramel for a very long time, and that they are very close friends and business partners.

Clover also wants to learn about her business, and although she is unsure how to tell him, the wizard sasses out quickly that she's running a brothel with Aramel. The boy really wants to go there some day, although he is mostly curious to talk to Aramel and learn more about the long history of the realm, and the day and age when Colin Timble lived. Raquel invites him to join her at Aramel's Rest in the future, and he takes his time shrouding their camp in a Private Sanctum.

An encounter from hellEdit


The group is attacked by an Orthon.

Their conversation is interrupted when the arcane disc in Clover's pocket suddenly gives a frantic tuck. A moment later, a crossbow bolt slams into the middle of their camp, blinding some of the group. At first, they have no idea what is happening, until a formidable foe attacks them, shifting in and out of invisibility. A murderous fight breaks out, and the group is bested by the attacker over and over again. Once he is finally defeated, his corpse explodes into slimy, purple goop. It resembles the corpses from episode 191, though the party has no way of knowing it.

Memorable QuotesEdit

Sean, "Question for the dungeon master: when Patricia poops and then she disappears at the end of the day, does the poop then disappear as well?"


  • A devil killed outside of their home plane will simply return to the Nine Hells.
  • This episode introduces Raquel's target NPC, Sir Maxwell Wellington.
  • The journey takes the party three days. At a normal traveling pace of 24 miles per day, this would put Haven and Trenton at a distance of ~72 miles, which is a little less than the distance between New York City and Philadelphia.

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