Episode description:
Well...fair warning this episode will make you feel some things...primarily anxiety.

Opening Quote:
Lauren: Get on the fuckin' carpet.

Player introduction:
Sean: Hello and welcome to another episode of the tabletop champions podcast, I'm Sean your dungeon master and with me tonight we have Kyle who plays Cam...

Kyle: Howdy!

Sean: Matt who plays Cyrus...

Matt: Look into my eye.

Sean: Ben who plays Kallas...

Ben: Hello there.

Sean: Stephanie who plays Boone...

Stephanie: Ahoy-hoy.

Sean: And Lauren, what - what do you got for us tonight as far as puns go?

Lauren: What did the wounded centaur say? I've fallen and I can't giddy up!

Matt: Awwww.......

Sean: I love that one. You win, I love that one.

Matt: That, that was good, that was good.

Sean: Ah, that's hilarious.

Kyle: They can't all be clunkers, that was a goody.

Sean: That was a really, that was a good one.

Lauren: Yeah that was good. Thanks twitter!

Sean: By the way, Kyle, I miss your song lyrics a whole lot. I didn't know I would miss them until they were gone.

Matt: Mhm.

Kyle: Yeah, well, you know, you don't know what you got until it's gone.

Sean: - until it's gone.

Kyle: Um, I dunno. Maybe I will at some point, uh, become creative again. I haven't come up with anything funny to do, so

Sean: Until that day we'll settle for puns.

Kyle: Yup.

Lauren: You're welcome.

Episode SummaryEdit

  • The party looks down on the drow city, and can see that a statue of Lolth is being modified to be a spider with the face of a male elf, with eyes made of blue gems on its legs. Brenna scouts ahead on the flying carpet and finds an unnaturally still pool of "water" that seems to be a non-newtonian acidic fluid, first supporting and then dissolving a copper piece. There's a walkway around the water, which the party takes. Cyrus tries to collect some of the water to weaponize it, and as he pulls the vial out of the water, it moves towards his hand. He drops the vial to avoid it. Boone reprimands him, and hears a comforting voice in her head say "Divination is not evil, nor is it good. It is a tool." The water runs under some iron bars, which the party struggles to bend or break.
  • Boone feels the water call for her, reminiscent of when she turned into an opalescent serpent. She dives into the water, passing through the surface as though nothing is there. Guided by the voice, she chooses to drown and die. She sees visions of Kallas kneeling before a sandstone altar, Brenna crying at a grave, Cyrus ripping out his eye in front of a beast she can't see, and Cam standing alone before a field of dead bodies. She feels connected to everything, hears the name "Jazirian", and then surfaces, alive but transformed. She is now blue, with the image of a winged pearlescent serpent along the left side of her face. Cam casts Divine Sense, and senses celestial, fiend, undead, and a comforting presence.
  • The party realizes the path goes around the bars, and continues, encountering more art reminiscent of the modified Lolth statue. They encounter a specter, which when killed dissipates into threads similar to the one that took Ghost Butler.
  • They come to a massive portal with a ghost-like spirit attached to spider silk threads leading into the portal, being pulled through by the drow woman who murdered Young Leon. Brenna prepares to attack, and Cam joins her, followed by the rest of the team. The party is swarmed with locusts, and everyone but Brenna falls unconscious. Brenna fights on, aided by her ancestors. Young Leon blinds the drow woman. The spirit sends a tendril out to Cyrus and wraps around his spirit, nearly killing him. Cam becomes conscious and heals Cyrus, but he remains unconscious. Cyrus's soul gets ripped out of his body, but his eye flares, something within him says, "He's mine," and Cyrus instead becomes raised with full hit points as a deathlock with a fiend patron. Cam heals Kallas. A thread shoots out at Boone to take her soul, but she resists its pull. Cam heals Boone, to no effect. The drow hits Brenna, who goes down. Brenna is attacked by a thread, and her soul is pulled through the portal. Kallas shoots the spirit, and it recedes through the portal and the portal closes. Kallas also kills the drow woman, who says "Kzarth is coming."

Memorable QuotesEdit

Kyle: Now, blue skinned as in she's drowned, or did she just come out like avatar as fuck?
Sean: I guess you could say avatar as fuck.

Sean: There are a lot worse things than a TPK.

Sean: If bad things happen, it's still gonna be interesting.
Kyle: If bad things happen? Well, shit, man, we're way past that fuckin point.

Sean: I'm @pleasedonthateme
Ben: I don't think that's actually your twitter there, Sean.
Lauren: It will be soon.
Stephanie: #Seanisamonster


  • Lauren didn't realize there was a walkway around the first set of bars, so Brenna spent a lot of time trying to force her way through.
  • When the swarm of locusts came out, everyone failed their CON save.
  • Each time a character failed a CON save against the spirit tendril, they automatically failed two death saving throws. Succeeding, they would still fail one.
  • Ben rolled a nat 1 on a death saving throw, making him fail two death saving throws at once.
  • Three different characters were at one point one failed death save away from dying.
  • Everyone rolled terrible damage in the last battle.
  • Cam rolled a nat 20 to become conscious, which probably saved the party from a TPK.

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