Lauren, "Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Tabletop Champions, I'm Sean the DM, and- no, I'm kidding, I'm Lauren the DM! Hey!"
Everybody, "Yay!"
Lauren, "Aaand we've got Sean playing a new character, we've got Kyle and Stephanie, Matt and Ben. So, Sean! You want to tell us about your character?"
Lauren, "Ys! Oh! Shit! Yeah! No! Fuck! I fucked that up! Don't give me all this power, I'm scared!"
Sean, "It's your first day. Literally."
Lauren, "It's my first day on the job."
Ben, "See Sean, she has already figured out how to cut out all the puns. In just one session, she's figured it out."
Lauren's Season Introduction[]
As the new dungeon master for season five, Lauren starts off her reign with a special intro scene:
“Darkness. It feels like eternal blackness surrounding each of you, dark whisps caressing your form. As you move your hand to inspect it further, the darkness moves like smoke and billows away. All of a sudden you hear a voice commanding:Move. Even though you're shrouded into darkness, your foot finds a solid ground. You find your stride and eventually break into a run. As you begin moving, you see four points of white divine light in the distance. They seem to be converging into one point. Then you notice it: the darkness that was wrapping around you has been replaced by the divine white light. The voice speaks out again:I dreamt I saw an endless plane with twelve great and terrible stars around me. There's a flash of rainbow colors that streak above you and when you look up, you see twelve different streaks that make up stars illuminating the blackness.I saw the open maw of darkness gaping wide to devour. The black smoke begins to rise, intercepting the colors. A giant mouth filled with sharp, jagged teeth forms and attacks the lights viciously. Your feet keep moving, pulling you closer to the other lights.I saw good and evil in their eternal dance spiraling to no true except that which was to destroy all things. There's a guttural growl and as you're trying to look over your shoulder the smoke then turns into a massive spider with a terrifying elven face, its eyes glowing red. It's moving with an ungodly speed towards you and fear pushes you into a sprint.I saw a gathering of five points of light, a defeat of destruction and challenges beyond time and eternity. At this point, fear has practically taken over as the spider grows closer, but you finally clash with the other lights and as you do, warmth spreads throughout your body and a sense of hope seems to wash over you. The darkness is gone, but now the whiteness surrounds you. You feel the presence of four other souls. Irulan needs your help. Naluri needs your help. But more importantly: they need your help. for just a moment, you catch a flash of a scene: a massive web holding numerous humanoids in suspense. The webbing that connects to these individuals are like dark purple veins that seem to melt into whatever flesh is visible. The scene fades.Help them. It's at this point where your conciousness starts coming around and you feel yourselves moving. There's a creaking of a cart and footfalls just in the distance. As you try to sit up, you realise that your arms and legs are tied and there's a gag in your mouth. All of your gear has been stripped. When you finally get to the sitting position, and you look around, you see you're not alone. You are in the cart with four other people.”
Episode Summary[]
Rougly 30 years after the conclusion of season three, Irulan has laid in darkness for a week. Everybody is bound, gagged and stripped from their posessions except for their clothes, in a cart. The cart is guarded by Drow and a drider. The ladder seems to be in charge, passes something to a Drow on horseback, who charges off ahead.
The Wood Elf and monk Fanel manages to untie Clover Blossom, a Mousefolk wizard. When they attempt to untie the others, they raise the attention of the guards and a fight breaks out. The Drow don‘t do too well. Irpaks, a human bard, viscously mocks one Drow literally to death. Fanel has fun skating around on Grease and showing off his martial arts and roundhouse kicks. Clover pulls a giant badger (Jerry) and another (Jerry Two) from is little pouch, who start mauling the Drow. The Lizardfolk druid Throden Sariv lunges and bites into them. Raquel Underscotch, a pirate, but really a Water Genasi rogue, can't do much without her gear, and breaks open a chest to retrieve it. The tide of battle turns to the favor of the prisoners when suddenly a fireball shoots down from the cliffs above, setting the drider aflame.
After their guards are overcome, the prisoners retrieve their gear, thank each other and introduce themselves. Clover and Fanel recall their abductions. They try to make out who was on the cliffs and spy glowing eyes in the bushes, but these flee once seen. The group then makes camp for the night.
When Raquel checks her possessions, she realizes the Drow have taken away her stone.
